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I”ve been engaged for a whole 2 weeks today, and have a whole 2 and a half years til I get married, and I feel behind the 8-ball for some reason. There has to be something I’m missing already.

Maybe I’m just projecting other fears- like I’ve been accepted to a grad program and my transcript still hasn’t gotten there. Or I have yet to find a job this summer while school’s out. Or my dad has still not said a single word to me regarding my engagement. I had a dream about 7:00 this morning where he sat down and said, with all the venom I’m sure he could muster,  “So about you being engaged…” I was so startled, I woke up.

I’m putting ideas in notebooks (and have been for about a year). I’m still stuttering over “fiancé”. I’m showing off my ring properly now. I even bought a book called “How to Have an Elegant Wedding for $5000 or Less”. And I got a Miss Manners book out of the library on wedding etiquette. (Did you know it’s improper to congratulate a woman who was proposed to? You wish her happiness and you congratulate the man. I”m not really sure WHY I find that interesting, or even important, but I do.)

And life goes on, seemingly without me. My week from the Twilight Zone (including a very public discussion in a high school setting wherein two girls compared their personal abortion stories… it was a train wreak. I couldn’t stop it and I couldn’t turn away) is, hopefully, mercifully over. Cal graduates in 2 weeks, and then off to Peru with him from July until December to teach English. Actually pretty cool, and I’m very excited for him.  That’ll give me time to move out and get settled, start my MA, maybe start a new job…

So much is changing so fast. I know I wanted it to change dramatically, but I think I might be leaving myself in the dust. I need to take some time to chill today, I guess…

Uh oh, the runaway bride got away!


May 2010
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